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Submitted on
February 20, 2012


41 (who?)
Welcome to another edition of Absurd Interviews: Even better than whole grain bread!

Long time we don't see each other huh? Long time you don't hear another of my great poems. Well, here is one. Enjoy!
Roses are red
Violets are blue (well, purple sometimes)
This next deviant is the color of blood
And blood is beautiful

Ladies and gentlemen, with you: SanguineEpitaph
2012 ID by SanguineEpitaph

Good day! How are you this fine day good sir? :pringles:
If it's a good day and I'm a good sir, I do believe I'm good. :dummy:
But, you know, I could also be fine. :iconteheeyesplz:

Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
:iconbitchpleaseplz: My closets don't have doors. :icondivaplz:

An old lady is crossing the road. A banana helped her get to the other side more quickly, but a random skating kid tripped him and he in turn made an incoming truck of gummy bears tip over. What happens next or what will you do?
Well there are obviously several possibilities for what I could do. Allow me to tell you them. :iconcookiemonplz:

Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
Well I don't know how you would tuck something out. :stare:
But I always wake up with my sheets on the floor, so I guess that's an answer! :dummy:

Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
It's not stealing if the sign yields to you!

What happens when you go to work with your pants inside out? Or, have you ever gone to work with your pants inside out?
I have done much worse! :iconiloledplz: You do not want to know the details.

Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
Well no, not really. I suppose I actually use digital coupons more than paper ones. xD Get with the 21st century! :dummy:

Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? why?
I would probably want to get attacked by a bear because you can see where it is and run away from one thing, instead of a horde of things. But seriously, when would that happen? xD


Your best friend develops udders, would you drink from them?
Depends where the udders are. :shifty:

This same friend, having developed udders, is now half cow. Would you eat their human bacon?
But bacon comes from pigs! :iconwhutplz:

Do you ever count your steps when you walk? Tell me I'm not the only one who does this!
But my feet are too big to fit in some of the sidewalk tiles, in which case I have to play twinkletoes with the ground. :icondeathstareplz:

Do you chew your pens and pencils?
Only when I need moar fibarrrrrrrrr. :chew:

How many bikes do you think you could fit inside your car?
2.7842243u3f892392359832234112440013535 1/156 (letters included)

What would you name your pet dragon?
Well, I heard once that some Native American tribes named their children based on what they saw after the baby exploded from the womb, so...
...I guess the name I'd give the dragon based on my first site after seeing it is "Holycrapnooooooooooooo

Thank you so much dear person. Now give us some final thoughts!

This interview was brought to you by the letter P, and Somebodylost, kangel, nasakii and sagethethird

Add a Comment:
keyanadrake Featured By Owner Feb 29, 2012  Professional Writer
The-Senior-Stache Featured By Owner Feb 29, 2012
Hey there!
#dAseniors featured this interview in The Senior 'Stache March 1st 2012 .

Much love,

SparklyDest Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
:giggle: Such fun!
Animizu Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2012  Student Digital Artist
When will you interview me?
JaiLatte Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
That was awesome! Great interview!
Legacyhunter Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Awesome interview! :dummy:
acjub Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
So funny :D
litecrush Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Great interview. :lol:
Shippa-chan Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2012
Now now, how do you know that bacon comes from pigs~? :iconnownowplz:
JamminJo Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
:lol: Very funny :rofl:
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